OUR SWIMMING POOL WAS ALL WET

In the 4 years we've lived in our house we've used the pool three times. Obviously we're not pool people. I thought about having the pool removed but everyone said that would lower my property value and I'd live to regret that decision. I even called the top pool inspector in the area and he told me over the phone not to tear out the pool, that I would regret the decision, my kid would never forgive me and my life would be less meaningful. Okay, he did say I'd regret the decision and that removing the pool would lower my property value, blah, blah, blah. Then he came over and actually looked at our pool.

After a long inspection of the pool, spa and all of the equipment he said the pool needed all new equipment, tile repairs, replastering, deck repairs, a deadly light removed and that the spa was on its last legs. Keep in mind he doesn't actually do the repairs so he wasn't trying to sell me on additional services. He just inspects pools for potential home buyers. He figured the cost to get the pool in working condition would be in the $35,000 to $40,000 range. Tearing it out would cost from $10,000 to $12,000. When I reminded him of his property value warning we both chuckled because any potential buyer would probably hire him to inspect our pool and once he gave them the bad news immediately $35-$40,000 would come off their offer. In actuality the pool was HURTING our property value as I had long suspected. Plus we were wasting tons of water and electricity. So, the decision to remove the pool was a no-brainer.

YOU'VE GOT TO BE BIDDING ME!

Okay, after lots of research we decided the pool had to go.

BID #1
I contacted a very popular local pool demolition service for the first bid. The gentleman was very knowledgeable and professional. He said in four days they could cap all the lines, remove all of the pool equipment and fence, tear out our entire concrete deck, demolish the top 18" of the pool, punch three large holes in the remaining pool shell for drainage as required by code, tear out the spa, fill the whole area with dirt, compact the dirt and grade the area for $12,500. We'd have to landscape after he left. He then told us we had a second option which was what a lot of apartment buildings were doing which was to simply leave the deck intact, punch holes in the pool shell, fill the pool shell with dirt, compact it and then we could plant grass on top of it. This would cost us approximately $7,500 not including the grass. He did say we'd have to tear down a 10 foot section of our brand new concrete wall so his dump trucks would have easy access from the street. He said he couldn't repair the wall once he was done but it should only cost me an extra $800 or so. When did we want to start? I told him I'd give him a call.

Okay, now we had a big decision. Did we want to tear out ALL the concrete and landscape the entire back yard? That would mean lots of plants and a sprinkler system which alone would run about $6000. We both wanted to do something more eco-friendly so we decided on synthetic grass which requires no water or mowing, etc. However, it's not cheap. Installed, the stuff runs around $8.50 to $10.00 a square foot. Cha-chingggggg. Sure it eventually pays for itself but until then we're paying for it. Then I started thinking about Plan B. What if we did leave the concrete intact and just fill the pool? We could cover it with the synthetic grass and make it a kidney-shaped putting green or mini golf course. We'd definitely use that more than 3 times in 4 years and we'd need no water or electricity which the pool was presently devouring. That didn't solve the problem of the spa a few feet from the pool but I was starting to think this was a cool idea. It would look totally funky and give our toddler a place to play outside that's safe and soft. Hmmmmm, I was liking this more and more.

BID #2
Since I already had the one $7500 Plan B bid I thought I'd get some more. One contractor in a Notre Dame cap came by and he said he could do the pool only demolition and fill in for around $7000 and he wouldn't need to break a hole in the wall cause he'd use illegal workers who'd load the dirt with wheelbarrows. Since we're looking at about 100 cubic yards of dirt he figured they'd be done in a few weeks. Okay, I liked the part about no hole in the wall but the idea of illegal workers loading dirt in my back yard for 3 weeks did not sound all that appealing.

BID #3
A third contractor finally showed up two days later than he said he would, completely unannounced one Sunday morning and after telling me his personal problems he said he could do the whole job for $6000 and use a bobcat which would fit through the gate. No hole, no illegals with wheelbarrows for weeks at a time. Things were definitely looking up. The only problem was this guy was a total dumbass and if he didn't show up on time to GET the job bid there's about a 1% chance of him ever showing up to finish the job.

Then I started thinking...for a change. I looked at all of the steps involved in this process and decided I could save money by making myself the general contractor and subbing out all of the steps. Step one is the demolition - disconnecting and removing the pool equipment and fence, capping the lines and punching the holes in the bottom of the pool. I figured I could use a demolition company to do that. So I called a demolition company.

BID #4 (DEMOLITION ONLY)
A very friendly guy with a gold tooth arrived at the site, looked at what I wanted done and said his company could do it. Taking away the stuff was no problem but punching the holes in the pool was not easy - that alone would be $980. His total for holes and demolition was $1400. Hmmm, interesting.

Then I found a guy on Craigslist who was looking for free dirt to fill his pool. I called him up and he was doing the same exact thing as me - filling his pool but he was covering his with grass. I started telling him about all of the crazy bids I was getting and he was shocked. He said his demolition was done by a handyman who rented a jackhammer at Home Depot for $25. The demo cost should be no more than the handyman typically charges for his time plus $25 for the jackhammer. This was getting better by the minute. So I did a little research, asked around and found a handyman that people like. I gave him a call.

BID #5
Robert the pompadoured handyman arrived at my house on time, legal and with no personal problems as far as I could tell. He looked at the job, said he had a pool of his own so he knows how they work and that he could do the whole demolition for $500 including jackhammer rental. HIRED!!!

So basically the bids went from $7500 to $6000 to $1400 and finally $500. I liked where this was going.

MONEY DRAIN

Before starting any demolition I went to city hall and got a building permit. This is crucial for a number of reasons. You need get one if you ever want to sell your house and I have a neighbor around the block who's a total nazi/busybody and would most certainly put her big nose in our business once she caught wind of it. I proudly placed the permit in the front window the way you'd hang garlic to keep away vampires and then looked for someone to drain the pool. Our regular pool man is so incompetent that I'm surprised we never came home to find him face down in the pool a la William Holden in Sunset Boulevard. He said he was unable to drain the pool and that he'd have to hire someone. So, I did a little research and found a company that could drain the pool right away. They said it would cost me $100 and takes about 5 hours to do. They then asked me what I was planning to do with the old equipment saying they might be interested in it. I said they could have it but they'd have to lower their price if they took anything. No way was I giving the stuff to them for free when I knew they could benefit from it. They said they'd think it over.

On time, the pool drain guy arrived with a pump and a long hose. He attached the hose to the pump, dropped it in the pool, turned it on so the water could drain out to the street and then left saying he'd be back in a few hours. I was then entertained for hours watching the water get lower and lower in the pool. Of course the whole thing (hole thing?) took longer than he thought and he left the pump overnight. I turned it off when the pool was empty. He came the next morning and asked me if he could take our old pool heater in exchange for only charging me $50 for his services. I said no problem since it was headed straight for the dump anyway so I wrote him a check for $50, he took the old rusty heater that we never used once and the pool was empty and ready for demolition.

DEMO AND MO

Now that the pool was empty the pompadoured handyman got to work. He arrived on time with a tattooed helper and within a few minutes the entire equipment shed was gone, all of the lines cut away, the electrical capped and holes were being jackhammered into the pool.

These two guys worked really hard and took no lunch breaks saying they work harder when they're hungry cause they're angrier. Oooookay. Finally by around 4:00 that day the fence was gone, the equipment was gone, the fiberglass spa was gone, the pipes were ground down and there were four holes in the pool. The pompadoured handyman said, "Since we got this done in one day instead of two you can knock off $100 from the bill." I told him he was nuts for thinking he should be penalized for being fast and efficient. I gave him $500 and he and the tattooed guy drove off with all of the remnants of the pool, fence and spa.

They will definitely be rehired.

Now all I need is for the city inspector to sign off on the holes in the pool.

INSPECTION!!!!!

It was arduous to say the least. The city inspector arrived, looked at the holes in the bottom of the pool for slightly less than 14 seconds and then said we passed the inspection.

Now it's time to get dirty.

A DIRTY STORY: PART I

What's become quite apparent to me is that getting the dirt into the empty pool and then getting it compacted and graded is going to be the hardest part of this project. The dirt guys are wildly different with their bids and all of them are a little...well dirty. Since I'm not going to be building a structure on that spot the city will not be checking the final compaction. In fact the inspector told me they don't care what's in there "as long as it's not glowing." That's your tax dollars at work folks. I do know it has to be compacted at 90% in order for the grass on top to retain its base and so I don't get a dirty bowl of soup in my back yard. So not only do I need dirt but I need it done right. Plus, before I put in the dirt I really should put in a layer of gravel so it drains better. This makes things even harder...pun somewhat intended.

The Craigslist guy who's doing the same project told me that contractors have lots of dirt they need to get rid of and I shouldn't pay a penny for it. He said he's trying to get one of them to deliver free dirt and then load it into the pool with their bobcat for free. He's been waiting 2 months so far for this to happen. I've decided I'm going to pay for the dirt so I don't have a 9 foot hole in my back yard for the rest of the year.

Dirty Man #1
I called a guy on Craigslist who said he can deliver dirt and gravel and then load it into my pool. In order to do that I'd have to take down my gate and a 3 foot wall of cinderblock, which is fine cause it's old and doesn't match the new wall. Then a bobcat needs to drive through the space and shuttle the dirt that will be dropped on the street in front of my house. My neighbors will LOVE me. I need about 100 yards of dirt which is about 10 truckloads so it's a big deal. The Craigslist guy must have smelled blood in the water because he quoted me $3500 for the dirt and another $3900 for labor to put it in the pool. That bid is higher than previous bids I got to complete the entire job. I laughed and said no thanks. If you don't learn anything from this blog (and really how could you) at least remember this - you must get several bids before taking on any project because they can vary wildly and by talking to contractors you'll learn a lot about what they really need to do.

Dirty Man #2
Remember the contractor who showed up two days late and told me his personal problems? Well he really wants to work and he said he has a guy who gets dirt, dirt cheap. That's no big feat. You can get dirt for free. There's tons of it literally lying on the side of the road and on construction sites all over. They want you to take it otherwise they have to pay to take it to the dump. If you're not upset about your dirt being a little dirty, you can get a lot of it for free. Anyway the late contractor said he can get me a great deal on dirt and the bobcat and do the compaction and grading and then repair my block wall for $3500. See? The price immediately dropped in half. I told him I'd think about it cause I know he's hardly Mr. Reliable and I don't want to get into any kind of problem situations with anyone wonky.

Dirty Man #3
I found the next guy on Craigslist and his claim to fame is that he installed Smokey Robinson's swimming pool. That is a lame claim to fame. Turns out he's actually working on two houses on my very block, which is weird because a) there are lots of blocks in Los Angeles, what are the odds he'd be on mine and 2) neither Smokey Robinson nor any of The Miracles live on my block. All we have is a local weatherman, David Caruso and one of the naked bankers in the Washington Mutual ad campaign. It's hardly Starville, USA. So Smokey's guy basically crossed the street and came over. He looked at my pool asked a few questions and then quoted me $4500. He then asked if I had gotten any other quotes. He said, "If you have, will you tell them to me and not lie?" I told him I had another bid for $3500 and he looked at me as if I was lying and then left. Excuse me but my mama told me, "You better shop around." He might have thought he really had a hold on me but as far as I was concerned he could follow the tracks of my tears back across the street and keep his old dirty dirt.

Dirty Man #4
In Culver City a major excavation is taking place and the contractor is giving away tons of dirt for free if you pick it up or it's $75 by the truckload delivered. He even said he'd break the price for a big order. I told him I needed 10 truckloads and he said I could have all the dirt for $500. He also has a bobcat operator and he'll find out how much that will cost me for the day. But there's a hitch. There's always a hitch. Apparently he's not supposed to be excavating where he's excavating so the city has stopped his project indefinitely. He may be up and running by tomorrow or it may be 6 weeks. At this point he doesn't know.

This is a dirty business. Basically, I got nothing.

A DIRTY STORY: PART II

It pays to pay attention to what's going on in your neighborhood. When I was driving home the other day I noticed they were excavating dirt from a construction site on my corner. Seeing as how I need dirt I was more than excited. Who would have guessed that I'd get excited by a mound of dirt by the sidewalk? Well I was. So I stopped to talk to the dirt man and he was a very nice guy who offered me the dirt for free. Problem is, I couldn't take it because I wanted a layer of gravel first to make sure the drainage is much better. We chatted for a while and it turned out he could get a great deal on gravel and he has lots of other free dirt. So he came over and looked at the job, I answered all of his questions right away because I've been researching the crap out of this for weeks. Then he had the genius idea of all time which was not to break any holes in my walls but actually LIFT THE DIRT OVER THE WALL from the outside!!! Why no one thought of this it's beyond me. Anyway this guy seemed very smart and thorough and then he gave me a bid which was thousands less than anyone else so, I decided it was time to get dirty!!!

Coming up: Gettin' Dirty!

TV OR NOT TV?

Do not adjust your TV set, an interesting development has just come our way. HGTV may be interested in finishing this project on one one of their home remodeling shows. They came, took pictures, interviewed the homeowners and then said they'd let us know.

Please stand by...

GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT!

Problem is...I don't want to wait. The folks at HGTV were kind enough to let us know that we were not on the "no" pile which means we were very much, quite possibly, likely considered to have a good shot at maybe being a possible subject for the show. We'd have to wait a few months until they got around to us.

What you don't hear is the sound of the digital satellite channel changing.

While we appreciate their consideration and are very grateful for the surly casting director who came over and asked us stupid questions on camera, we still have a nine-foot hole in the back yard and a toddler whose nose is pressed up to the window saying, "where water?" Since said toddler is turning two in January and the house will be filled with similar little people we have to scramble to get this thing done.

Lots of synthetic grass people have been by to tell us why theirs is the only product we should consider otherwise it will ruin our lives. I seriously would have used the (NAME REDACTED) product but the women who came to give me an estimate were closing me so hard that I wanted to throw them in the empty pool.

I think I found a guy who seems to know what he's talking about with regards to the plasti-grass. I have to time it so he can install the stuff immediately after the dirt is dumped and compacted. I don't want the dirt sitting around just in case it rains here in Southern California. One-hit-wonder Albert Hammond could not have been more wrong. It DOES rain in Southern California and when it does it's G.D. biblical.

So, timing is of the essence. More fun tidbits on fake grass to come.

WANNA BUY SOME GRASS?

Okay, I'm going to make this brief. In the not too distant future most homes will have synthetic grass. Mark my words, people - we are at the forefront of a polypropylene revolution!

Blah, blah, blah the majority of the water used by your home is for your landscaping. Blah, blah, blah real grass requires you to have a real person cut it and that person might be you or if you live in Southern California probably not you. Blah, blah, blah real grass requires fertilizer and various chemicals plus the mower is likely a gas mower that's emitting fumes that will kill us all by next week. Blah, blah, blah real grass attracts real bugs and needs real TLC. Blah, blah, blah real grass can be a real headache for you and the environment.

This is the kind of information you will get when you go to the many sites of companies selling "the only synthetic grass you should consider." Turns out, a lot of the crap is made in Georgia by carpeting manufacturers or by a few companies in China. If you're anything like me you're going to avoid the Chinese product cause I love me some beef and broccoli but due to recent events I'm kinda scared of lead paint.

If you haven't learned anything from me (and once again why would you?) then you know I'm a big game bargain hunter. I do endless research and then love for vendors to come to my house and give me estimates cause:

• It's fun to wait all day for people who don't show up.
• I love it when people try to rip me off.
• It's a fun way to get people to pay attention to me.
• They all talk shit about their competition.
  

There are several ways you can do this project. You can hire "a guy" who is a professional landscaper and expert plasti-grass installer and have him supply the product. You can buy direct from the manufacturer and use their installers. You can buy direct from the manufacturer and use any installer. You can buy the stuff on Craigslist and try to install it yourself. I would seriously discourage you from doing the last one cause, face it, you don't have the time or proper tools and you can't sue yourself for shoddy work.

I wasn't kidding earlier, this crap is going to be everywhere but right now there are only a few companies with expert installers and a few more fly-by-night operations who don't know what they are doing. You can spot the fly-by-nighters as they are usually unable or unwilling to answer any of your questions.

So first I had a landscaping guy come over. I got him through Service Magic or as I like to call it Service Charge Magic cause every contractor they've sent to me is much higher than anyone else. I'm wondering if Service Magic charges them a vig and they want to pass along their lack of savings to us. A guy named "Roman" came by and quoted me "Around $8.00 a square foot." In a city where real estate is described as Beverly Hills ADJACENT, which could mean up to 20 miles away from Beverly Hills, I'm not too comfortable with $8.00 adjacent as a quote. I sent Roman homan. Then I had a guy come by who was Mr. Chatterbox and had lots of samples and told me how he tapes seams and puts in sand and rubber for ballast and how you want a polypropylene product and not nylon and how the thatch is recyclable and blah, blah, blah. I totally loved this guy. He know so much it bored me and that's saying something. Then I called another company which has a manufacturer here in LA. I didn't get one estimator I got two. The two women pulled up in front of my house (both in separate, brand new BMWs which I took as a very bad sign) and throughout their estimate they tag teamed me like fiends.

'You can't buy any product but ours.' 'We see bad installations of other stuff all the time.' 'People buy the other stuff and then tear it out and buy ours anyway.' 'The stuff from China will kill your entire family.' 'If you don't buy our stuff your house will disintegrate.' 'Buy our product and not any other or life as we know it will end.' You know the drill. They tried to whip me into a frenzy and close me on the spot but all I could do was fantasize about seeing them unconscious at the bottom of the empty pool as the dirt poured in. No one would know my little secret until it's too late! Bwah ha ha ha! Okay they were yapping for a while and I started to drift off.

Unfortunately I did like their product and like I said it's manufactured here in sooty Southern California which is a plus. But...they had no deals on the junk. It was $8.99 a square foot installed including tax. I'm apparently eligible for a rebate from the city which is .30 a foot but that's the case with whatever product I install.

In the end their bid was $4,500 adjacent and that was not the neighborhood I wanted to be in. Plus, the fact that the salespeople were driving tricked out beemers made me think that they're making an awful lot of green on the fake green. What to do?

Obviously I liked one product and one installer so I decided to match the two. My master plan is to buy the last product for those keeping score) but not use their installers. If I buy the grass alone it's $3.49 a square foot. Mr. Chatterbox quoted me $3.00 a square foot to install the stuff so I can get the $8.99 per sq. ft. quote reduced to $6.49 per sq. ft. By doing my own mix and matching, instead of $4495.00 I'm looking at $3245.00 which gives me a whopping savings of $1250.00. Since I'm dealing with 500 sq. ft. shaving $2.49 off per sq. ft. is pretty huge.

Now it's time to get all of the moving parts moving at the same time...

CORRECTION: WANNA BUY SOME GRASS?

One car was a BMW the other a Mercedes.

I BOUGHT SOME GRASS

I have finally made a decision. After much consideration I have decided to purchase the synthetic grass from the local company with the fancy car-driving salespeople and the long-winded comment writer. Freud might say that comment writer has Blog Envy but that would mean that Freud would have to know what a blog was and I'm pretty sure Freud wasn't surfing the interweb cause Al Gore hadn't invented it yet. But seriously, this blog has 'unconscious mind' written all over it, am I right people? Anyhoo, after some back and forth I got them to drop their price two dollars per square foot so their installed price was $8.00 per foot which was comparable to everyone else. Several of my friends who have had the stuff installed by the same company paid a much higher price so I feel somewhat better about my deal. Since they also claim that their installations are unparalleled and their talented installers use techniques taught to them by Tibetan monks or some other mumbo jumbo I'm using them to install the stuff, too. I'd be happy to mention their name, feature their logo and even hyperlink to their site but that would require an additional discount.

The grass is set to go in at the end of the month. Now I have to coordinate the dirt guy and make sure the site is prepped and inspected/approved by the city before the fake grass arrives. All in all, the dirt is the most important part of this whole project. It has to be installed and compacted properly or the whole thing will be a giant plastic sink hole.

Is that a dump truck I hear outside my window?

DIRTY DIRTY DIRT

DAY ONE - The dirt man pulled up in front of my house, dumped three truckloads of dirt and a truckload of gravel in the street and then left cause it was raining.

DAY TWO - It rained and the dirt man did not show up.

DAY THREE - Light drizzle and by 10:00 am no dirt man. I apologized to my neighbors for the giant mounds of dirt and gravel in front of my house but they were totally cool. I called the dirt man and asked if he planned on moving the dirt from my street to the pool. He said he'd be there later. He got there around 11 and loaded some of the dirt into the pool.

DAY FOUR - They were shooting a commercial two doors down from my house so whenever the dirt man started his bobcat they'd come by and ask him to shut it down for a while. This is after I spoke with the location manager who assured me they were not rolling any sound and my dirt man could work as much as he wanted. I'm sorry I believed the location manager and now for the rest of my life I will not trust them ever. Which, if you've ever dealt with a location manager you'd know is actually a pretty good rule of thumb.

DAY FIVE - I explained to the dirt man that I had a very strict deadline for him. Because of the short week due to the holiday there was no wiggle room for him to mess around anymore. He had to finish quickly and then I had to get it inspected by the city before the fake grass arrived for installation. The dirt man sensed my nervousness and hired some helpers. He finished that day.

About 20 feet of grass in the parkway is completely gone due to the bobcat. However, there was no damage to my wall whatsoever and the cost of new sod is nothing compared to repairing a ten-foot hole in my wall. The dirt man cleaned up everything very well and aside from some mud in the street in front of my house and the missing grass it's all just fine.

Now I'm hoping that the city inspector shows up on Wednesday cause the grass is scheduled to go in Thursday.

Up next - the fake grass!!!

THE FINAL CITY INSPECTION

It was another grueling inspection. This time the city sent two inspectors to the house. They looked at the dirt in the pool shell for about 10 seconds and said we passed. Whew.

SCREW UP #1

When it came to fake grass you know I spent lots of time looking for the best vendor and product at the best price out there. If any of you read the voluminous comments made by the (NAME REDACTED) representative on my blog you'll see that their company claims to be far superior to any other fake grass provider on this planet. (NAME REDACTED) closed me HARD. They sent two sales reps to to my house and posted long comments to this blog about how they're superior to every other company. After some price adjustments I actually went with them. I told them I was on a very tight schedule as I'm having 100 people to the house for a party and another party for my 2 year-old two weeks later. Despite the fact that I was assured UP AND DOWN BY THEIR SALES REP THAT THEY NEVER BLOW A DEADLINE and that this project would go in as scheduled and be the most masterful installation possible, I received this email this morning:


Hey Wendy,

This wind has pushed our install schedule back a day - so, I apologize for the hassle, but we'll see you tomorrow. Given the size of the job, we should be in and out in a day. Thanks for the flexibility.


Hmmm, I didn't give them any flexibility but it's awfully nice of them to thank me for it. Here's the deal. The first of (NAME REDACTED)'s two needed installation dates has come and gone and there is no fake grass installed. Sure, I got ten truckloads of dirt and gravel loaded on site and compacted in the rain and I got the pool drained and all the demolition done in inclement weather and got a permit and then the city inspector to sign off on the project all within my limited time frames but for some reason some wind is making this installation impossible. To add insult to injury, I was told they needed two days to do this job to their masterful perfection but now their rep says they can get the whole thing done in one day.

Does that mean they will refund half of their installation costs since they'll be doing it in half the time?

What do you think?

LATER THAT DAY...

After a few terse phone calls and emails sent out in the late morning I received this email:


Hey Wendy -

Rest easy - we've finished the job that we thought was going to take us the better part of the day, so were heading over to start moving base material into place. (NAME REDACTED) from our Construction Management Division is trying to reach you, however is unable to with the number he has. Do you have another number he can reach you at?

should be moving within the hour or shortly thereafter. thanks.


At 1:00 decomposed granite or some similar product was dumped in front of my house. A few minutes later several workers loaded it into the site and graded and compacted it. They also carried in what looks to be the plastic grass but it's wrapped in plastic so it's hard to tell.

Here's the thing...I run a business in which I'm fortunate enough to provide my services to hugely powerful and influential people. I make it a rule to hit every deadline and give my clients my full attention, respect and service at all times. If I fail to do so I probably won't work for them or any of their associates again and I need money so I can do projects like fill in my pool and cover it with fake grass. Unfortunately I have an expectation from anyone I hire to provide the same level of service and respect to me that I provide to my clients. Is that unrealistic? Almost certainly.

I've been assured this project will be finished tomorrow.

THE GRASSMEN COMETH!

With their base material firmly in place from the day before, four installers arrived at my house this morning and started the installation. They placed the synthetic grass, lined up the seams, cut the custom edge, started securing it to the ground, used tape and staples to seal the seams and used nails to hammer it to the ground. They then added a kind of sandy material and brushed that in, then used a power brush to force the material and fluff the grass. My husband saw a few details that they missed and they fixed them for him. Total cost, $4002.99.

REBATE AND SWITCH

When the fake grass salespeople came to my house one of the things they told me is that the Metropolitan Water District is offering a 30 cent per square foot rebate for synthetic grass installations. They told me to consider with the rebate that my final cost would be even lower than the deal they were already offering (30 cents times 500 square feet = $150). They said they'd send over the paperwork as soon as the grass was installed or at the very least give me the link to the site where I could apply for the rebate.

The TRUTH is, there is no rebate from the Los Angeles Metropolitan Water District. They're considering one and some day soon there might be one but right now there is no rebate being offered here in Los Angeles. Other states are offering them and you should definitely look into it, but if your Los Angeles salesperson tells you that you'll get an addition 30 cent per square foot discount from the Metropolitan Water District I wouldn't be counting on that money any time soon.

SEAMS LIKE FUN

Here's how they join up the seams between the pieces of fake grass. The roll of stuff you see which we've been told is definitely not tape but "seaming cloth" with very expensive glue is what's used to hold the seams together. They cut, trim, then use this cloth, then special staples to close up their seams. So in the photos you see the seaming cloth, then part of it being pulled back just like double stick tape but it's not tape it's seaming cloth. Then the installers joined the two pieces together.

EPILOGUE

I've learned a lot by taking on this project. First of all, I'm glad I did it. The pool was a problem and getting that resolved was my primary concern. By draining, demolishing and then filling in my swimming pool I've solved several key issues with my house and the safety of my child.

The thing is, no matter what you must always get multiple bids when you're undertaking any construction projects. Costs can vary wildly and you can learn a great deal by talking with several contractors on site. Secondly the first price you hear is quite often not the final price. One vendor actually publicly chided me for not trying to get them to drop their price (see earlier comments). For some reason I thought it was a real number and not a fake car dealership number but prices quoted to you for construction projects aren't like Bloomingdale's they're more like a Sunland swap meet. I personally hate bargaining and rarely do it. I ask for the last number first and then I either take it or move on. That quote speaks volumes of the vendors.

Another thing you might want to consider is working as your own general contractor and subcontracting all of the steps of the job. For instance, a general contractor may give you a quote of $20,000 to remodel your bathroom but if you find contractors you trust and who have good references you might be able to hire a plumber and get fixtures for $6000, a tile guy for $5000 and an electrician for $3000 which would lower your project cost to $14,000. However, if you're not comfortable dealing with various personalities, timelines, excuses, Taco Bell wrappers left on your floor and you're not familiar with their technical issues it might be more convenient to pay the extra amount to have someone else manage the whole shebang for you.

Growing up on a perpetual construction site I know just enough to figure out how to parcel out each step. It may be daunting but break down your project step by step. Sure I could have paid the big construction company to do the demolition and dirt for $8500 and then forked out another $1000 to repair my wall and then another $4500 for synthetic grass but that just didn't sit right with me. Neither did the other bids. Taking my time and doing it properly and most financially responsible step by step saved me a big chunk of money. Instead of $14,000 plus extras my total for this project was under $8000 including demolition, permit fees and sodas for the handymen.

In the end, my pool is gone, the fake grass is in and my daughter has a safe place to play. All of my very patient neighbors have been coming by to look at the finished project and they're extremely impressed with how well it turned out, how great the turf looks and how I've gained so much usable space. I think a few of them might want to try taking on similar synthetic turf projects.

Whatever you decide to do with your outdoor space, do a lot of research and talk to as many manufacturers as possible. A great resource is syntheticgrassblog.com. This stuff is relatively new and with time prices will definitely drop. In the mean time be smart and watch out for all the snakes in the plastic grass.

DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL!!!

A major television network may be interested in running a story on this project for an upcoming special on green building. Stay tuned for details to follow.

CONTACT ME

If you want any further information about this project or specific details about vendors and prices feel free to contact me at wowgreatidea@yahoo.com.

VARIOUS BRANDS OF TURF

There are lots of brands of synthetic turf on the market, here is a list of just a few that I copied and pasted from Wikipedia so the accuracy and whether or not they're still in business is not guaranteed. When you're ready to order make sure you actually see and touch the product. If they can provide you with photographs of their installation or even give you the address so you can see it in person that's even better.

AstroPlay
AstroTurf
Artificial Grass Lazy Lawns
As Good As Grass
BajaTurf - California and Baja California
Calsyn
CamTurf
Chemgrass (AstroTurf renamed)
ClubTurf
Deso-Turf
Durraturf
Edel Grass BV
EZfield
FieldTurf
Evergreen
EverLast Turf Orange County, CA
Forever Green
Gras
Grasmere
Grass Tex
Instant Turf
KonyGreen
LanoSports
LazyLawn
Lectron
Lifestyle Grass
MasterTurf
MONDO Turf
NewGrass
NeXturf
Nova Grass
OmegaTurf Residential Turf
Omnicourt
Omniturf
Perfect Turf
Poligras
Polytan
Poly-Turf
Pregra
ProGreen
Ryturf
Regal Grass
Royal Grass
SafePlay TURF
SmartGrass
South West Greens
Sow-green
Sportexe
SprinTurf
Supergrasse
SYNLawn
Synthetic Turf International
Tartan Turf
The Perfect Lawn, Inc.
Tigerturf
TourTurf
Tuff Turf
Turf Solutions
TurfTech
Wyco Turf
Xtreme Turf